So I was chattin away with a friend of mine about our surgeon and how hes pretty rad, and I realized that while I’ve talked about him, I’ve never really introduced him.
So my surgeon is Feza Remzi, I call him Fez for short (only behind his back really, I dont want to insult the man who slices me open and plays with my insides. Good life lesson.) Anyway, Fez is from some far off country, I know this because he has an accent, however I dont know where hes from because well…duh thats rude to ask. Hes a pretty rad dude, the first time I met him, he told me a few time “Jackie I do not play games”. Which I appreciated since, again, hes playin around with my organs. Like if I found out that he was playing peak-a-boo with my 18ft of small intestine I think it would make me question his credibility.
He told me I was pretty, which I’m pretty sure he tells all the diseased ladies. But then he did tell me that I have to lose weight before sugery #2…I said, I know, I’m trying…and he said.. I’m not trying to be mean, but it just needs to happen.
The last time I went to Cleveland was like 2 weeks ago-ish, and it was basically a party. I had 2 stoma nurses, Fez, and the Vickster. Vicki is Fez’s super rad nurse who knows everyone, is super nice, and writes emails. Email writing is something I think I should require from all future doctors. It makes my life so much easier.
We chatted about my next surgery and due to my stupid financial/insurance situation I was successful is getting them to move up my surgery one month just to make sure I get it all done before the end of the year. Whew. Huge relief. Jackie, FTW! (For the Win, for all you over 30 people) Anyway, so we all hung out chatted, dicussed our lives and what our favorite mixed drinks were. Just like old pals. Except not. Actually the nurses came in, changed my bag, then Fez and the Vickster came in and we talked about my colon pictures, my fat, and sky diving. Apparently I’m not cleared for it…eh…I just wont tell them. Its just between you and me internet.
Then I realized that I am a Cleveland Clinic celebrity. No really, people know me. I’m kind of a big deal. Not just because I’m super awesome, but because people know about my blog. I KNOW, right! I mean if you’re gonna be famous in life, it might as well be for talking about your butt. So for all my fans, I’ll be back at the CC in August, signing autographs and what not. You know the usual celebrity stuff. Buying expensive champagne and hiding from the paparazzi. ….in a fur coat.