So guess who has set a date for surgery #2? Yea, its me. Shabam! I was so excited I almost crapped my bag. This is far more exciting than setting a wedding date…though faaar more terrifying. You think committing yourself to someone for the rest of your life is terrifying…try letting someone cut you open and mess with your poop chute.

Happy cows come from Michigan...and are named Jackie

So while this new surgery date is awesomely excitingly rad…its also SUPER depressing. The reality has set in that I’m wicked fat.

Now whenever I state this painfully obvious fact to people, they always say “Its the steroids”. And while I can acknowledge that over a year of straight steroids probably has

mmm burger

NOT helped my case in the fatty mcfatterson department…its not totally to blame. Lets throw on a side of not being able to be even remotely active for a year…and the GIGANTIC appetite ive developed after steroids…and its safe to say that…I’ve got A LOT of work to do before my surgery. I need to lose like 30 el-bees before August 24th. Hey huge daunting task, how are you? Good news is I’m FINALLY off steroids…bad news is I think I might have to start taking them again probably just 1mg a day or so because I’m having some very slight withdrawls. Which again…is DUMB. More bad news is I’m really fat. Ugh. I’m tired of being fat. Fat is not fun.

So other than just bitching about being fat, I am very slowly (and I do mean slowly) starting to get off my bedonkedonk and move.

Le Pooch

I’ve taken a few walks which I’m sure my dog really appreciates.

Though hes far from fat…in fact he could kick all of our asses if he only had thumbs. Anyway, so I’ve taken a few walks and today I cut my grass. While I would love to say that I cut my grass because I’m super pumped about my new love for exercise…I’d be lying. I totally got a violation notice from the city about my…weeds? I dont really understand because my grass was no longer than anyone elses and my dandelions were no where near the 9 inches that require a violation. But whatevs. The big giant red notice on my door was enough to get me off my ass.

Anyhoo… Long story short..Im fat…I gotta get skinny in 4 months…and I’m delusional to think that walking around the block will be enough to do that….we’ll see. You know I’ll be keeping you posted. In the mean time, I’ll just be here…walkin’ it out…DJ UNK style….except minus the naked chicks, rappers, gold, 40s and replace the music with the Glee soundtrack. Its basically the same thing.

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