I should really stop telling myself things can’t get any worse.
Let me preface this with another story.
Before my surgeries, but when I knew I was gonna need them, for about 5 seconds I got really motivated to get in good shape before I went in. Don’t ask me why, but this tiny light bulb in my head went off and reminded me of my dad
saying many moons ago, “Hey Jump roping is a great exercise”. And I said, yea dad, good idea. And I bought a jump rope. I anticipated its arrival in the mail and when it got to my house I was pumped about it. Took it out of the package and promptly put it on a hook in the garage and went to sit on my couch. I finally mustered up the energy to use it one day. I was in my garage on my lonesome and decided to give her a go. So I get in the jump rope stance, and then get ready to jump my heart away like I did in the 6th grade. Well…it turns out sixth grade was much longer ago than I remember. Before I get to the next part, let me preface this with I was still very sick at this point. So I start to jump…and I realize that I can’t do multiple jumps because I’m about to die and my legs are a bit shaky. So I give it my all and jump about 3 times in a row…and then it happened. Literally 3 jumps into my “workout” my legs gave out and I literally fell over on my garage floor. At first I was shocked at how FAR out of shape I was, then as I literally laid on my floor…I laughed. A lot. (This is far funnier when I act it out, which I’d be happy to do)
So heres my point. That was something in my former life I regarded as embarrassing.
Yesterday was a suckfest. It rained FOREVER. Lots of rain. Not to mention, I now park about 6+blocks from my office, so its easily a 10 minute walk to and from my car. Yesterday morning it was raining but I was still cheery. Work goes on..blah blah..its around 4:20 or so and I realize I’ve got to pee. So I go in there pull down my drawers, and SURPRISE!
Your hand has poo on it. Yea…a Leak. A fucking leak. WHAT THE CRAP. So I assess the situation, and I realize, “hey that awesome spare set of everything I have…is in my car.” So I had no choice, but to wipe off what I could, pull my poopy pants back up and try to plug the leak with some paper towel. I seriously sat there, no pants, again giving myself a pep talk. Trying to figure out the best scenario. The only one I could come up with, was the worst one. Put on my poop covered clothes, go out in the pouring rain…walk 6 blocks to my car…and then drive 30 minutes home before fixing the “problem”. Lets talk about feeling DISGUSTING. I walked in the door to my house dropped my stuff and leaped into the shower. So gross. GROSS GROS GRROSOSDSDFLSDKSDJR.
THATS EMBARRASSING. What I wouldn’t give to fall over on my garage floor jump roping right now.
So driving home, I felt my positivity drop. Honestly, I felt like I could see myself getting depressed. Luckily my favorite sister called and reminded me of my jump rope story, and instead of crying at my present, I cried tears of ridiculousness over my jump rope failure. I think part of my day’s mood was due to the fact that one of my fantastic bag friends went in for his #2 surgery yesterday. Much to everyone’s surprise when he awoke, Remzi decided to do #2 and #3 in one step. WOWSIE. Which is so fantastic for him, but honestly, my jealously totally got the best of me. I KNOW this will not happen for me. I also am now alone in the bagging world. He was the person I talked to most about it, and now its as though I’m the only person alive wearing this stupid thing. So then…of course I had a leak. It was just not a good day. But I’m happy my friend made it through like a champ, and that he can be done with this journey.