So I’m about 2+months out from surgery #2. The anticipation of this one is just killing me. I find myself having a constant inner brain battle with myself about whether or not I want it to just hurry up and get here or if Id rather just wait longer. I guess that I’m pumped that I get to have the summer to just hang out and enjoy life a bit, since last summer was spend in various hospital beds. But at the same time, I just want to get #2 started because then shortly after is #3 and then after that its like hopefully, a real life again. Not that the life I lead right now is fake but its that its just all consuming. I think about this all the time, I talk about it to anyone who will listen. When someone asks me a question, I go into a virtual verbal frenzy over it because it just gives me an excuse to spout off about it. I blog about it, hell I even paint license plates about it.
I’m constantly wondering whether or not I’ll have complications, or if it will go ok. If i’ll be happy or if I’ll regret. I want to just get it going and finish this whole thing up, but again, I’m so happy and content and able to lead a “regular” life right now, I don’t really want to disrupt that at all. Its really hard to take a life you like, and put it on hold for 4 months so you can recover from something that may or may not continue that same life.
I feel like there is so much that I want to do this summer and I’m running out of time. I want to cram in everything awesome for the rest of the year because its just gonna be spend on my couch eating soft breakfast foods. Ugh. Also for those of you who are in stages #2 or have a completed Jpouch….do you eat everything you want now? I’m still scared of some foods (though I’m getting more daring). I talked to the Vickster and she said over time I can bring back in foods from the “Do not eat” list, like veggies, nuts, fruits ect.
But my thoughts are, well the intestine thats doing the work now, will be doing the work later. So if it can’t handle it now, how will I eat it later? Thoughts? Is a blockage the same now as it is with a pouch?