I went to Cleveland last week so I could get le wound checked out. Why did I go to Cleveland you may be asking? Oh because well NO ONE in Michigan would touch it because they were not my surgeon. Regardless of the fact that I had a wound that was potentially treatable they all basically just gave me a big fat eff you and turned their backs on the hippocratic oath. Whatev.

So on Wednesday I made the damn trek down there because when I sent that gawd awful picture to Vicki, her and Fez said I should come down because there was a chance I had a Pyoderma. Here’s a link describing how Pyoderma is linked to IBD. Yet another awesome thing about Colitis…I dont even have a colon and colitis is still being an asshole. PS…don’t google image search Pyoderma unless you’re brave.

So I get there and I meet a very nice and polite asian nurse whose name I wont try to spell it was basically Cheese-u. She just told me to call her Cheese.  She looked at it and said “That’s not a Pyoderma, I was expected much worse” in an adorable little accent. So I wait there for Dr. Ogilve to come and check it out, he walked in an was basically like “Oh a Pyoderma”.   Fuck.

Fuck because a Pyoderma means getting steroids injected INTO THE FREAKING WOUND. Not around it, under it, over it, through it…nope directly in it. And not just one shot, nope they like to get it around and shoot you about 50 times.  So I let them shoot me, and then they put some stuff that looked like spinach and artichoke dip in there and then filled it with stoma powder, then put a silvery thing on it, then a hollihesive, then paste, then a ring, then a wafer.  HOLY HELL.

So I changed it again yesterday and it didn’t look any bigger/worse, but not any better. they did say I could be looking at a month + for healing time. Awesome. Super mega awesome. Good news is it doesn’t hurt unless people are poking it…

When I change it, here is what I do and here is a picture of all the crap I have to use.

 

1. I clean all of the area as usual.

2. I cover a spot on the surrounding skin that looks a little like it might do the same thing with liquid band-aid just for fun and mostly cause its makes me feel like I have a chance that this wont happen again.

3. Very gently make sure there is no other crap in the crater hole.

4. Fill it to the brim with stoma powder

5. Cut a piece that fits the size of the hole of the Aquacel which is the silver crap. Literally it has silver in there and its supposed to heal some stuff..I dunno.

6. Cut a piece of the Hollihesive big enough to cover the crater. Hollihesive is a doublesided sticky piece of stuff, that is harder than like a paste, so it just sorta protects the wound.

7. Then I put paste where the Hollihesive meets the stoma for extra leak protection.

8. Then I only use half a barrier ring, reshape it into a circle around the wafer.

9.  Stick the wafer on, and eat a sandwich because its a lot of freaking work and it takes forever.

 

Also a tip from me to you USE MEFIX TAPE. That stuff is the best I have found thus far. Honestly its totes rad. If your insurance doesn’t cover it…so what..pay the $7 or whatever it is.

Lets hope this heals it…because more steroid injections and also a gaping wound on my stomach just really isn’t sounding like a blasty blast.

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