This will be short, sweet and littered with typos.

Last week I had an MS relapse. I can’t see. I can’t do anything. I can barely type and it hurts to look at anything. You guys I am in such a bad place. I feel like I’m just over the edge. I can’t do anything that I love…I cant go outside, drive, blog, text…I mean I have literally spent the last week on my couch with my eyes closed.

They are post poning my surgery probably. I cant see. I can’t think. I can’t process amything anymore, and its really hard to see what I’m still fighting for. I’m fighting so hard to “get my life back” but what does that even mean anymore? What life.

No job, no hobbies, no money, no anything. I don’t even have things I can get back to.

I have never been this low. I don’t know what I’m fighting for or why. It feels like its never going to end. The problems, the complications, everything. I’m just destined…for a lifetime of shit. I don’t want to live this life anymore. I often feel like I don’t want to live anymore. Its dramatic…but if living means feeling this way…every single day. I don’t want it.I just feel like im stuck in this hole…and no matter what I do…I sink. I never come out on top. I do everything they tell me, everything the right way and im still failing. My body is still failing. I don’t want to wake up anymore. I dont even want a better life anymore, what I want is to give up.

Im tired of fighting. Im just tired.