Oh man you guys I have not updated in what seems like forever. I also just got back from Camp Oasis for the second year in a row, and to put it lightly it was amazing. I did however, return home with a head cold…wtf? So instead of talking your ear off on how amah-zing  it was, I’ll just give you some highlights.

1. The counselor group was totally different this year. We grew so much closer, and I really have some amazing friends from this year at camp. You get to this place, where you wonder how you made it without them. You wonder how you got through all the bullshit without all of these amazing people, who get it, by your side. Old bonds grew, new ones were formed, and in the end it really is like one big diseased butt family. One that I am so lucky to have.

2. I did in fact have the joy of cleaning up camper poop at 4:30am. I guess this isn’t really a highlight, but it is ass camp, so it is something to prepare for.

3. To my knowledge, there were 5 counselors with jpouches, and 2 campers. There could be more. Thats pretty fantastic. Many of them have had theirs for a few years so I found this to be really helpful when I had questions about weird feelings and all that jazz. A fantastic source of knowledge.

4. Camp fucked me up. Hardcore. While most of it was sunshine and lollipops, the food and the quantity of food had my junk all messed up the whole week. I realized I actually eat very little, and with 3 planned meals and a snack it was really far too much for me to take. I had a lot of stomach aches and nausea. I literally called my mommy and had her cook plain pasta noodles and bring them to me. I ate noodles 3 meals a day for like 4 days.  I also had a lot of pain, just in general. I was poppin the ole’ pain pills more than I would have liked, but I really was running myself raggid. I would not suggest camp a month post op but it was still worth it. Once I got back in control of what/when I ate, things have gotten a little better, but it still isn’t perfect.

5. My jpouch is kinda awesome. I never once had to run to the bathroom. I never had to use a porta potty. My ostomy never popped open. I went swimming without any worries. I realized I am a huge source of knowledge when it comes to IBD, and the info that I give my campers can really change their lives. (They told me so). It has been an obnoxiously long, tendious, and emotionally draining  journey, but at this very second it seems like it might be worth it.

6. I talk about butts a lot. I mean a lot. I also talk like a diseased ass sailor. I contained myself  in front of the children, but it was on around the counselors.

7. Best Camper Quote of the Week:

(in regards to injections)

Camper 1: My mom said you can do it in the butt.

Camper 2: In the butt?

Camper 1: Yea the first time it kinda hurts and it feels weird, but you get used to it.

Camper 2: It sounds really gross

Camper 1: It was gross but it really wasn’t that bad.

I SWEAR that actually happened. I had to find someone aver the age of 18 immediatley to tell them about this exchange. I almost died on the spot.  I would say I have the maturity level of a 12 year old, but these were 12 year olds and they had no idea how awesome their convo was.

Right now, my intestines are doing what I call, “rollin in the deep”. Which means they are just grumbling like crazy, moving air around but I’m not really farting. I do this a lot post op. If it gets super bad I take gas pills but honestly I kinda just put my hand on it when I can and feel it. Its weird. It must be what its like when knocked up chicks feel their illegitamite spaw kicking their insides. I actually just finished my first subway sub with actual fresh veggies on it. I’m a little scared.

As of late, I have been 100% avoiding veggies and other things that are destined to screw me up. You could say I’m a little over cautious, but I still say I’ve never had a blockage so take that. I really want to get back to eating real things, instead of half assed meals and junk food, but I’m pretty terrified of food. So anyway, thats the basic update. My jpouch has yet to let me down. Its kinda nice.