Go to flickr.com/explore and write a post inspired by the image. Can you link it to your health focus? Don’t forget to post the image!

I was generally pretty disappointed by this image. I was like…really…a butterfly? I’m sure everyone and their brother (if they use this image) will be all “the wing looks like an eye, its like a window. TO MY SOUL”. Yea I think this butterfly is bullshit. So I started looking really deep at the butterfly and I’m trying like hell to see something even worth writing about, and then it hit me.

Its not the butterfly that is worth writing about, it is the blur behind it. And here comes my brilliant rant that relates my health to this stupid butterfly. When I look back of the last few years I have really clear memories about certain things. I remember fighting with the cardiac ICU nurse who wouldn’t let me get up and go pee. I remember the devastation when I was told my second surgery was a failure. I remember changing my bag and seeing that really awful separation. Sure I remember a lot of it, but over all my sickness has been …wait for it…a blur. I look back and I realize that this all started in 2009, and I’m sitting here in 2012 healthy. Without a real sign of sickness anywhere around me, its a complete whirlwind as to how I got here. When I was living it, it felt like time was standing still. Every hospitalization, every PICC line, every test, ever bag change, every damn surgery. Everything just went so slow. Also during this time I didn’t have a job, so there was no reason to wake up most days.

But like I said, looking back now, what a blur it all was. It doesn’t seem that long ago, but feels like it was an eternity. I remember feeling pain, but not how bad it was. I remember the despair but not how consuming it was at the time.

So…I guess I am the damn butterfly and the blur is my life swirling around me. But hey, that is a hot butterfly.