Write a list of the 10 things you need (or love) most.


1. My Family

I’ve gushed a million times about my family. They’re awesome. ’nuff said.

2. My dogs

These two little shits bring me so much joy and happiness. They are the 2 boys in my life who never let me down, except when they shit or puke on the carpet. Other than that, they’re perfect. And so adorable. Look at their widdle faces.

3. My computer

I am a tech junkie. My life revolves around my iMac, iPhone, iPad, MacMini, Flip Cam and wireless everything, blah blah blah. I have dual monitors everywhere I go and I love it.


4. Cushy toilet paper

Welcome to my bathroom. This is what I use. Its fan-freaking-tastic. Charmin should sponsor this blog. Right this second. You hear that Charmin?

5. Grammar

Ok so I have a ton of typos because I’m too impulsive to send things to my fab editor friends, but I fucking love grammar. I fucking hate when people don’t know how to use it. I also hate when people say things like “ur”, and “y?”. Spell out the god damned word! You’re, Your, Their, There, They’re, To, Too, Two, Know, No, Whole, Hole, and every other stupid mistake people make because they’re all stupid.

6. Calmoseptine

A cool minty breeze on your butt hole. Trademark that shit. Hear that Calmoseptine?

7. Cheetos

Cheetos in the morning, Cheetos in the evening, Cheetos at supper time. I know that wasn’t the song, but thats what it should have been. There is never not a good time for Cheetos. And only the regular ones. Screw those stupid puffy ones.

8. Internet BFFs

Srsly, some of them blog, some of them don’t, but every single one is a vital person in my life and my sanity. I adore you all so much, I really really do.

All of my butt buddies and all of my MS friend who read this blog I effing love you and I am thankful for you every single freaking day. Many I’ve “known” for years from the MS blog, some I met before my jpouch some after, some from blogging. I feel like I could travel anywhere and have a couch to crash on. Its so fantastic.

9. My jpouch

My life, my love, my butt hole. My jpouch is so super awesome. Not only does it enable me to disguise myself as a “normal” person, but it lets me live my life like I want to.

10. Camp Oasis

I should really write more about Oasis. Oasis changed my life. It gave me strengths and it showed me that I can change lives. I have the most amazing Oasis family and support system. If you you have a kid with IBD send them, please. Change their lives, give them confidence. If you’re an adult with IBD please be a counselor. Change your life, and gain confidence. I cannot say enough wonderful things about this place. Its a haven for all of us butt disasters. Singing dumb songs, playing dumb games, and looking like a slob for a week can really do wonders for your soul. This is the best week of my year, hands down.

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