So I started roller derby. I know, right?! After much talking and about a million questions to my good friend Christy over at Ostomy on  the Track, I finally decided (after almost 10 years of wishing) that it was time to start training and work towards getting placed on a team.

1798595_720999744590854_1576536325_nCan I skate? Yea, kinda.

Can I skate well? Nope.

Do I know anything about Roller Derby? Just that its fun to watch and it looks like it hurts.

Turns out skating when you’re 12 is way different than trying to skate as an adult. I have so much to say about roller derby now that I’ve been training and know a lot more about the sport, but maybe I’ll post about that another day. What I want to talk about now is fatigue and how it correlates to my new hobby.

You guys I’m tired. Like really tired. I went and had my blood work done and of course, it all came back normal. Which is great except that it doesn’t help figure out why I feel this way. I literally go to bed between 8-9pm and sleep the whole night. I’m having a hard time staying awake during the day as it is, now adding derby on to it has made me really nervous. Its got me really asking, “Can I do this?” Like, really.

After practice on Sunday I went home and slept for almost 4 hours. By the time I woke up it was 5pm and I felt like I lost my whole day and it still didn’t stop me from going to bed at 8:30. I’m really hoping that there are just new demands on my body that are making me this tired. I’ve been skating between 2-4 times a week for the last month many of which are late at night. Well, late for me. For “normies” I know generally its a matter of bodies adjusting to more demanding lifestyles that can make them tired and fatigued. But I’m starting to wonder, “Is this my life?” Will I always be this tired? Will I always have a bigger demand for energy than I produce? Which all leads me back to, can I do this? I really don’t know at this point and I may not know for a few weeks or months. But I’m sure as hell going to try. For the first time in a long time, I am excited about something new. A new place to make friends, and friends that aren’t sick. I don’t have to be “sick” when I’m there and the people there don’t know I’m sick. Well, thats because we haven’t had a chance to talk, although I did wear a GWG shirt to practice on Sunday. Derby is refreshing. Its mentally and physically stimulating and it makes me want to challenge myself and to grow into a better skater. Its giving me goals. I want it so bad you guys, and the idea of simply not being able to do it is really scary.

Everyone always says that you shouldn’t say “can’t”, but what if I really can’t do this. How devastating. So here’s to hoping I’m just in an adjustment period.

Do you have any inspiration for me? Was there anything you thought you couldn’t do and instead surprised yourself?