Supporting the Colitis, Crohn's, ostomy and J-Pouch community one butt joke at a time



Post for The Gutsy Generation

I have been asked many times why I am an advocate or why I spend my free time and money on raising awareness for IBD. I have a long winded, drawn out answer for this question and depending on my audience it can be really inspiring and technical, or loaded with swear words and jokes. I like to think that I understand my audiences. I have this same strategy when people ask me what a Jpouch is. I have loaded responses ready to be verbally vomited into the ear canal of the unsuspecting question asker. Depending who asks, they will either get my medical jargon-ed response, or something about how my colon is gone, yadda yadda, new internal plumbing, yadda yadda, wham bam poop chute answer. I’m really quite eloquent with words.

Read the rest of this post at The Gutsy Generation!!

Guest Post: FAP Explained

Something that I don’t know enough about is FAP. So many IBDers and people with FAP cross paths due to ostomies, but I never actually learned about FAP. So….here is some info on FAP.

Currently looking for someone to do a guest post on their experiences with FAP.

What is the best nation?

A Donation.

I heard that from a homeless guy in downtown Detroit once. I thought it was clever. Clever enough for a buck.

I was asked recently if I take donations for my site. I didn’t…but not because I’m against money but because I never thought about it. So I set up a donations button through Pay Pal and slapped it on the right side column of my blog. Now lets be clear, I am not ASKING for donations. In fact, I think that sites like mine that ASK for them is kinda weird and I’m all “what the hell are they spending money on anyway”.

It does cost money to run this site, not a lot, but since I’m living on grilled cheese as it is, it is enough to be significant in my life. So what I’m saying is, if anyone out there feels so inclined and wants to pay my mortgage, who am I to stop them? I mean really, that would be rude.

Also in case you’re wondering my mortgage is about $400/mo. So cheap, right? Wouldn’t break the bank for you at all. KIDDING.

No seriously, the idea of accepting money from strangers to pay for hosting and what not on my site is a weird thing for me and makes me mildly feel uncomfortable. But I wouldn’t have made it possible if someone didn’t ask me to do it.

Stop being all judgy. And start being more spendy. Kidding. Again.



#HAWMC Day 13 – Things I Couldn’t Live Without.

Write a list of the 10 things you need (or love) most.

1. My Family

I’ve gushed a million times about my family. They’re awesome. ’nuff said.

2. My dogs

These two little shits bring me so much joy and happiness. They are the 2 boys in my life who never let me down, except when they shit or puke on the carpet. Other than that, they’re perfect. And so adorable. Look at their widdle faces.

3. My computer

I am a tech junkie. My life revolves around my iMac, iPhone, iPad, MacMini, Flip Cam and wireless everything, blah blah blah. I have dual monitors everywhere I go and I love it.

4. Cushy toilet paper

Welcome to my bathroom. This is what I use. Its fan-freaking-tastic. Charmin should sponsor this blog. Right this second. You hear that Charmin?

5. Grammar

Ok so I have a ton of typos because I’m too impulsive to send things to my fab editor friends, but I fucking love grammar. I fucking hate when people don’t know how to use it. I also hate when people say things like “ur”, and “y?”. Spell out the god damned word! You’re, Your, Their, There, They’re, To, Too, Two, Know, No, Whole, Hole, and every other stupid mistake people make because they’re all stupid.

6. Calmoseptine

A cool minty breeze on your butt hole. Trademark that shit. Hear that Calmoseptine?

7. Cheetos

Cheetos in the morning, Cheetos in the evening, Cheetos at supper time. I know that wasn’t the song, but thats what it should have been. There is never not a good time for Cheetos. And only the regular ones. Screw those stupid puffy ones.

8. Internet BFFs

Srsly, some of them blog, some of them don’t, but every single one is a vital person in my life and my sanity. I adore you all so much, I really really do.

All of my butt buddies and all of my MS friend who read this blog I effing love you and I am thankful for you every single freaking day. Many I’ve “known” for years from the MS blog, some I met before my jpouch some after, some from blogging. I feel like I could travel anywhere and have a couch to crash on. Its so fantastic.

9. My jpouch

My life, my love, my butt hole. My jpouch is so super awesome. Not only does it enable me to disguise myself as a “normal” person, but it lets me live my life like I want to.

10. Camp Oasis

I should really write more about Oasis. Oasis changed my life. It gave me strengths and it showed me that I can change lives. I have the most amazing Oasis family and support system. If you you have a kid with IBD send them, please. Change their lives, give them confidence. If you’re an adult with IBD please be a counselor. Change your life, and gain confidence. I cannot say enough wonderful things about this place. Its a haven for all of us butt disasters. Singing dumb songs, playing dumb games, and looking like a slob for a week can really do wonders for your soul. This is the best week of my year, hands down.

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